Another Normal Day in Arlen
by Cats Are Nice
Summary: The sequel to A Normal Day in Arlen, an absolutely nonsense fanfiction I wrote on my old account.
1. The Return

Hank Hill stood in the alley with the resurrected Bill and Dale. Boomhauer could not show up, as Hank had forbidden him after blowing him up.

"Hey Hank I tell ya what man talkin' about I'm sorry man. Now how about we just go back to the dang old way things used to be man?" Boomhauer spoke out to Hank.

"Oh God...he's tryin' to get back into the Arlen Gang again," Hank sighed.

"Just let him back in, Hank. You know you want him back," Bill recommended.

"I guess you're right." Hank grabbed an extra beer out of the cooler. "Hey Boomhauer!"

"Yeah?" Boomhauer asked.

"You want a beer?"

"Mmhmm." Boomhauer walked over, grabbed the beer and began drinking with the rest of the group.

"So I got some news, everybody," Hank declared. "I revived Peggeh so that she can help us with the meth lab and let me tell ya, with the way Peggeh's been bakin', there won't be a single window sill in our house that doesn't have drugs coolin' on it. Yep, drugs are back in at the Hill house."

"You're a lucky man, Hank," Bill spoke up. "Ya see, my ex-wife, she was a man. So one day I had to say, 'You're a man.' I wish I hadn't said that..."

"Dad, I'm back!" Hank's son Arty ran up to the group. "I took down the KKK, just like ya told me to."

"Good job, Arty. Now go help your mother make drugs," Hank commanded. Arty left his sight.

"I thought you said you killed him," Dale spoke up to Hank.

~ Earlier that week ~

"Arty Hill is no more," Hank declared, drinking his beer and sitting with the guys in the living room of the Hill house.

~ Back to the present ~

"Yeah I lied," Hank explained. "I told ya that so that ya wouldn't feel bad about me firin' Arty to get you that job over at Strickland, Dale."

"Hey, Hank. Are you ever goin' to dispose of Kahn's corpse?" Bill asked.

"No. It's a good warning sign to Minh and Conneh that they shouldn't be fuckin' with me, I tell ya what."

Suddenly, a lowrider drove up to the Hill house with Ain't Nuthin' But a G Thing by Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg playing through the giant-ass speakers in its back.

"BWAAAAH!" Hank screamed at the driver. "You turn that copyrighted music off right now before this fanfiction gets banned because of copyright!"

The driver rolled down the tinted windows, revealing that he's a really white-ass blonde guy wearing sunglasses with the stupidest haircut ever. "Eh what'chu said, homes?"

"Ah geez..." Hank sighed. "Someone get Slim Shady the hell outta here."

"I'm sorry, good sirs. But I cannot be associated with your anti-homery," the driver said as he rolled up the windows and drove away.

"Thank God." Hank continued to drink. "I'm gonna drink a lot more now. I need to catch back up."


	2. Truth Behind the Couch

"Hank," Dale said as the group stood in the alley. "What, Dale?" Hank asked. "I miss the couch." Hank sighed. "I do too, Dale...I do too..." "Oh I can't stand it anymore!" Bill screamed. "I took the couch! I put it in my house and kept it for myself!" Hank spat out his beer. "BWAAAAAH! Bill, it was you, you son of a bitch!" "I'm sorry, Hank! Please, don't get Peggeh to trap me in an abandoned prison pipe!" Hank sighed once again. "You are no longer welcome in the Arlen Gang. Get the hell outta here, Bill." "But Hank, it was just a couch! I thought you all were over it!" "GO! NOW! You're not welcome here! You have five seconds to get back into your house and I want you outta Rainy Street by tomorrow!" Hank pulled out a Chinese pistol and aimed it at Bill. Bill facepalmed. "Hank, you're usin a Chinese pistol. You'll never kill me with that." Boomhauer spoke up. "Hey man I tell ya what man them dang old Chinese pistols man I'm talkin about bein the Capital Wasteland's most useless weapon man but makes ya a good amount them dang old bottlecaps I tell ya what." "Boomhauer, you've just been playin too much of that damn game!" Hank looked back at Boomhauer. "He's right, Hank." Dale stepped forward and pulled out an AK-47. "Just let me take care of this." Bill ran across the street to get to his house, only to be shot and killed by Dale. Afterwards, everything went back to normal. "Hey, dad!" Bobbeh approached Hank. "Satan sucks." Hank, wearing a shirt that says "Satan rules" looked at his son in shock. "No." "Dad..." Bobbeh stared at his father. "You know what's cool, Bobbeh? Hell," Hank replied. "Satan rules," Dale said. They all then proceeded to fill Bobbeh with bullets. And it was another normal day in Arlen. 


	3. Hillout

1988... Strickland Propane discovered top-secret underground bunker in 1988. When Hank Hill was one of the new in Strickland, it was his job to go down in it. While he was exploring bunker, he discovered a lot of strange things about bunker. Hank promised himself he would quit his job after exploring bunker, but forgot to, given that he lost his sanity while exploring bunker. Suddenly while exploring bunker, Hank remembered bunker for some reason, then realizing that he had grown up inside bunker to hide from the nuclear holocaust that had come to Arlen after the bronies invaded to exterminate members of fandoms that were not composed of mentally-insane assholes. Hank Hill's 10th birthday party... "Happy fuckin' birthday!" a voice yelled. "Surprise, motherfuckah," another voice called. "Hank, now that yer ten years old, everyone in Vault OVER 9000 gets this piece of chicken, so here ya go: your very own StricklandBoi 3000. Get used to it. Now, leave us alone!" Buck Strickland Jr, the overseer of Vault OVER 9000 spoke with Hank. "This is the greatest honour I will ever know..." Hank said. "Oh please, Hank. These StricklandBois were made in the year 1946 for every vault citizen on earth," Dale explained, putting Hank down. "I got mine when I was ten. Then again when I was twelve. They won't let me remove it..." "Dale, I'm gonna kick yer ass! Then I'm gonna reenact kickin' yer ass!" Hank threatened. Dale ran away. Some years later... "Hank! Hank! Wake up!" Bill woke Hank. "Bill? What the hell is goin' on?" "Ya gotta get outta here! Yer dad and Dale escaped the Vault! We gotta get outta here, 'cause the overseer's bitches be lookin' fr ya, Hank! They killed Billy Mays, and yer next!" Bill panicked to Hank. "Get the hell outta here, Bill," Hank commanded. They proceeded to escape Vault OVER 9000 with Boomhauer accompanying them. When they got to the surface, they found that Arlen had been overtaken by douchebag teenagers. This was where Hank met his wife Peggeh, got their son Bobbeh, and Hank, Bill, Dale and Boomhauer went to go live their normal lives outside of Vault OVER 9000 and in the Arlen Wasteland. 


End file.
